this is me, loving you
I need to get to bed, but I wanted to post this quote I stumbled across when I was reading
The Five Love Languages on my flight back from Denver last week. It's from
Mere Christianity:
The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you love someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less.
-- C.S. Lewis
So there you have it. Now I'm going to go act as if I love my bed.
sweeeet
Deb
(Please rate my quiz)
Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Thanks, Rick.
today
Today is the greatest day I’ve ever known
Can’t live for tomorrow -- tomorrow’s much too long
I burn my eyes out before I get out
I wanted more than life could ever grant
Bored by the chore of saving face
Today is the greatest day I have ever known
Can’t wait for tomorrow -- I might not have that long
I’ll tear my heart out before I get out
Pink ribbon scars that never forget
I’ve tried so hard to cleanse these regrets
My angel wings were bruised and restrained
My belly stings
Today is
Today is
Today is
The greatest day
That I have ever known
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you round
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you
Today is the greatest
Today is the greatest day
Today is the greatest day
That I have ever known
-- Smashing Pumpkins
Ok, so maybe that's not the most accurate description of how I'm feeling today. I don't plan on burning my eyes out
or tearing my heart out. But still, it's a pretty dang good day. My last day as an editor. At least for now.
It's sort of bittersweet. Yes, I am glad to leave. And yes, it has been a long time coming. Four years is a long time to be
anywhere. I am a much different person than the scary-looking 23 year old whose mug is on my ID card. I have learned, and grown, and been stretched, and closed my door so that I could cry tears of frustration, and gotten "spoken to" by my boss. I have mastered the art of slacking and then working my tail off to meet deadlines. But I have also made some good friends. I have learned much about myself (some of which I think I would prefer not knowing).
This time has been valuable in that it has fostered in me the desire to get out from behind a desk and
do something, but it has also been valuable in the way that it has shown me that sometimes the most effective
doing is simply found in
being. Part of my sadness as I prepare to leave is in the regrets I face about not having talked to this person more about this or that person about that, or about stupid things I said or did in moments where I had perfect opportunities to say or do something
better. But those moments are gone and can never be recovered. I am left with today -- literally, since it's my last day here. And all I can do is find peace in the fact that the seeds I leave here will be watered by Someone who NEVER says the wrong thing at the wrong time, or takes a joke a little too far, or is just an all-around dork.
There are so many "todays" ahead of me. The key is living in each of those, as I'm in it. And not burning my eyes out.
homeschool or schoolschool?
Curious to hear your thoughts on
this post (written so much better than I could).
Obviously I don't have children, so I don't need to make any decisions about this anytime soon. But I will be getting involved with children soon, and I still like to think about this stuff for the
someday scenario. I go back and forth on the issue. I used to be totally anti-homeschool, thinking that it leads to kids who are incredibly sheltered and lacking socialization skills. But then again, maybe Christian colleges do that too. But as I spend more and more time with my nieces (who, coincidentally, are homeschooled) and see what sponges their little brains are ... I can kinda see the value of being in a position of being the major influence in a child's education and development. Though I'm not so sure that a parent can't be that influence even if the child is going to a school outside the home -- even (
gasp) a public school! Perhaps we have forgotten that there are opportunities to learn and develop all over the place. Maybe if parents did a better job of spending time with their kids in healthy ways (i.e. taking them to the museum or the zoo instead of letting them sit in front of the tv alone for hours at a time), this wouldn't be so much of an issue. What kids do outside of the classroom is just as important, if not more, than what they do inside of one (whether it be their family room or a real classroom in a real school).
Anyway, that's my rant. But I'm still not sure how I feel.
who says ...
that Christians aren't cool?
Here's proof that we are. Or maybe it's proof that we're not, I'm not sure.
But it's pretty funny either way.
change, change, and more change
Remember
this post? Well, in case you don't know, my path has taken a totally different turn. If you know me at least a little bit, you already know about this, so just shake your head again and go read someone else's blog. If you don't know me, maybe you don't yet know how random I seem to be lately, so read on and laugh at the random musings of a girl who thinks she
finally knows what she wants to be when she grows up.
So, if you read that post from mid-December, you will see that I did indeed accept a job at my
old college. A few weeks after I said "yes" to that job, I started wondering if I really wanted to work at that job. Did I want the job, or did I just want to get out of here? After much thought and prayer (and a visit down south, complete with several visits to Waffle House), I realized my motivation was found more in the latter question. And that didn't sit well with me. So I started thinking about what else I could do for a couple years while I pursue the teaching thing part-time (those of you who think I'm crazy -- please notice that at least this is a common theme running through my ideas about the future), and my mind wandered back to the nanny thing. So I went online and connected with a few different families who were looking for a nanny. After talking to them and praying about it, I have narrowed the possibilities down to two great families.
Origination of the nanny idea: I was a nanny for several summers while I was in college, and it was my first (and second) full-time job after college. And I might have been one for even longer, if I hadn't run into an awkward situation with some parents about some material (in the form of videos and toys) that I stumbled across while playing with their 9-month-old daughter. Yikes. So I ran away from that job, ended up in a position as a travel agent (ok, so maybe I am random) for a year, then fell into my current position as an editor, because I felt like maybe I would actually put this highly desired English degree to use.
That about brings us to today. I sit here in my office, three days away from being a
former Senior Manuscript Editor, and not really feeling like I did actually use my degree much at all in my four years here. I still don't know where I will be in two weeks. I might be enjoying my first day as a nanny to some adorable kids in North Carolina. I imagine I will be just getting home from picking up the 5 year old from school, and perhaps entering into an exciting game of dress up (I was a princess when I was there three weeks ago) or maybe a rousing game of tag with her and her two little brothers. Or ... I might be somewhere on my way to Colorado, in a car full of clothes and CD's and dogs. Craziness.
As of now, the 2-3 year goal is still the same: hopefully teaching on or near the Native American Reservations in southern Colorado or northern New Mexico ... it's just about what I do until I get there.
You'll be the first to know. Ok, I lied. Probably my mom will be the first to know. And then my sisters and my grandmother. But you'll know soon enough.
Running list of things to do in the next couple weeks:
-- choose a state in which to live
-- pack
-- buy dog food
-- remember how to write at least three consecutive sentences without using elipses, parentheses, or dashes
-- return library books and CD's
-- put new strings on my guitar (it's that bi-annual time where I feel inspired to play again)
-- learn to trust God and not myself
vote here today
Ok, so I talk to some of you enough that you know about my current state of indecision over an upcoming move ... but some of you may not be aware of the big decision that I have yet to make.
In two weeks, I will be moving
somewhere. It will either be
here or
here. (In both cases, I will most likely be working in larger nearby cities, at least part-time ... but these would be the towns where I would reside in each respective state).
Cast your vote now. The next two years of my life depend on it.
yikes
Oscar Wilde: The Portrait of Dorian Gray. You are a
horror novel from the world of dandies, rich
pretty boys, art and aesthetics, and
intellectual debates between ethical people and
decadent pleasure-seekers. You value beauty and
pleasure but realize their dangers, as well.
Which literature classic are you? brought to you by Quizilla
leave me speechless
You know how sometimes you read a blog post and have absolutely nothing to say in response, because it's
just that good?
This is one of those posts.
