Tonight I took a walk ...
and I was reminded what a big place the world is. Ok, so I only walked around my neighborhood, but I haven't done that in a while. The weather tonight is incredible, and the conditions were perfect for a nice, long walk: leaves to crunch under my feet, a clear sky with twinkling stars at which to gaze, brisk autumn air, a light breeze, and lots and lots of good thoughts.It was a good day. A long day, but a good day. Today I took the kids from the program to the zoo. A few mentors went, but it was mostly kids. At the beginning of the day, I issued them a challenge: each of them had to bring a smile to one person (not in our group) today. This may not sound like much of a challenge to you, but for most of these kids the focus of attention is usually on themselves ... they are rarely aware of the fact that there are other people around them, much less concerned about making anyone smile. A couple of them looked at me like I was crazy, but after egging them on a little bit I managed to get everyone to except the challenge.
They pulled it off pretty quickly, so I realized I had been much too easy on them. I gave them a second challenge, pushing them to dig a little deeper and try to find some reason to thank someone and then to express that thanks to them. At first they were just saying "thank you" to someone that held the door, and then running up to me and telling me they were done ... but then they started making me proud and really LOOKING at people and FINDING reasons to thank you. One little girl thanked a man for smiling at her, and one of the boys walked up to a zoo employee and thanked them for taking time to answer a question he had about an animal. Somehow in the context of smelly animals and zoo paths that seemed neverending, these kids were realizing that there was a big world around them.
In the van on the way home, we got into a conversation about my motives behind those challenges, and I explained to the kids that I wanted them to realize the ability they have to impact people and the world around them. I told them that their smiles and "thank you"s might have been the only smile or "thank you" that one of those people would get all day. I thanked each of them and told them that I am sure that each of those people would remember each of them as they looked back on today, and smile when thinking about them. The rest of the ride home was a little quieter than before, and most of the kids had this incredible look of satisfaction on their faces.
In trying to teach the kids a lesson about gratitude and attitude, I was taught a tremendous lesson myself. After many group events, I come home exhausted and sometimes feel like I leave my "work hat" at the door of my house. I spend all day setting an example for these kids, so when I come home I'm ready to focus on me. I was challenged today to wonder what these kids would think if they see me AFTER the activity. Would they still look up to me as they seem to otherwise?
I have been so focused on myself lately. I come home from work and into MY house and think MY thoughts about MY struggles in MY life. My evening walks seem to be a thing of the past lately, as I need MY time to do MY things. But tonight, after the time with the kids at the zoo, my head was full of ideas and I had to go for a walk to try to sort them out. As I walked by houses, I looked at lights in windows and saw figures behind curtains, and I found myself wondering if anyone would look back on their day and think about me and smile because of something I did or said. At the height of this thought process, I heard a noise and looked over and saw a woman sitting on her porch. She looked very sad and for a moment I was tempted to walk by silently and not bother her. But then I heard echoes of my conversation with the kids earlier today, and I waved and smiled and said "hi." We ended up in a conversation that lasted a few minutes, and at the end of it I thanked her for talking to me.
This wasn't a deep post, and it wasn't even that well-written. My thoughts haven't been the most well-constructed lately, and words don't seem to offer a glimpse of what is going on in my head. But I had to write, if only to remind myself of the importance of getting out there and walking around in other people's worlds.
