dreaming great dreams
The weather today is my favorite: gray, rainy, and chilly. It's strange that I love this type of weather so much, because I would rather be outside any day than stuck indoors. But this kind of weather is somehow comforting to me. It seems like it's designed to get me thinking more than I usually do, while sipping coffee and relaxing in warm, comfy clothes.
I really considered working from home today - it's the perfect weather to do it ... but I had paperwork and filework to do, so I had to come into the office. But still, I'm sitting in front of a window, sipping coffee, and wearing warm, comfy clothes. So things are good.
This morning on the way into work I caught part of a radio show. The topic was "dreaming great dreams" - part of a 10 part series by Chip Ingram, who I always enjoy. The series is entitled, "Good to Great in God's Eyes" and I just went online and ordered the book. His words today struck some chords in my heart, and I can't seem to shake thoughts from my mind.
The main idea of today's study was that "God delights to do IMPOSSIBLE things through IMPROBABLE people to IMPART exceeding grace to UNDESERVING recipients." He talked about how we so often limit what God does in our lives because we keep Him in a small box and create small boxes around our lives, when He is just watching and waiting to instill great dreams inside us.
So much of what he said rings true in my life ... how sometimes we dream a dream and start to take steps toward it, but then an obstacle pops up or a door closes and we think we were wrong about the dream. Really, it's more likely that we are not in a place in our lives where the dream is ready to be realized. There are still things that need to happen with us before the dream can become reality. Like Joseph, who had the dream but then ran into snare after snare - eventually his dream became reality, but only after he became the man God wanted him to be.
My "dreams" lately seem to involve mountains, horses, other animals, troubled kids, and sharing lots of love. I am excited about the future and how everything may transpire.
Lately the Bible has been coming alive to me. I'm not sure what's different, but in my morning reading - currently in 2 Kings - I am suddenly interested and intrigued by the stories of sons killing their fathers to take over reign of nations. Honestly, this particular section of the Bible isn't really all that
exciting to me. And I know that God is not so concerned about me being excited about stories in the Bible, as much as He is about me living a life that is consistent with His ways.
But really, there are other sections of the Bible that keep me interested and keep me up later than I should be at night. The books of 1 and 2 Kings are not those sections. But I made a decision to read through the entire Bible, and I'm going to follow through.
Anyway, today I was reading in 2 Kings 19, and I realized I was actually absorbing what I was reading. Especially when I got to verse 28, which contains words God spoke to Isaiah for him to share with Hezekiah. They were talking about Sennacherib, who was not the nicest guy around at that time. The words in that verse really struck me. I love imagery, and God creates a powerful one here:
Because your rage against Me and your tumult have come up to My ears,
Therefore I will put My hook in your nose
And My bridle in your lips,
And I will turn you back by the way which you came.
My first thought was of a bridle on a horse. I guess I have horses on my mind lately, probably because I see so many of them as I drive all over the state. Anyway, then I realized horses don't usually have hooks in their noses. So I pulled out my commentary, and saw a note about this being a reference to the Assyrian custom of treating captured enemies like animals in a caravan. How powerful that God is using their own custom to create a picture of the way that He is ultimately in control over what happens to them!
I love the moments in the Bible where God sort of flexes His muscles and reminds man of His strength. I think too many Christians have a false sense of humility in their view of and approach toward God. We like to approach him meekly because we think we're being respectful, and in some ways while doing this we also treat Him as a weak God. I have a feeling that God really wishes we would be bolder and grasp a hold of the promises He makes to us, and claim the power He offers us. We are called to be more than conquerors, but it seems we act more like timid little kids than brave, valiant warriors. Verses like this give me a little bit of a rush, because I am reminded what a powerful, mighty God I follow and serve.
I have a renewed desire to know this book well. I constantly have a "to read" book pile by my bed, but for now the Bible is sitting at the top of it and staying there.
Lots on my mind, as usual. Last night while talking to a pastor at a nearby church, I heard him mention something about their visits to a local nursing home, and I felt a pull in my chest. I need to dust off my guitar and find a new place to plug in. I think one of the things I loved most about playing for the people in Sanford was that they always thought I sounded great. :) Of course, most of them also had hearing problems, so ...
I'm conflicted about a rambling man ...
Lately, because I've been driving more, I've been listening to more music. And because I've been driving through the mountains, no other music seems to fit quite as well as the old, good stuff with heart ... lots of Waylon and Willie. And I love it ... but sometimes I still catch myself feeling a little troubled about the emptiness behind some of the lyrics. Can I sing my heart out without the sentiment seeping in a little bit?
Funny, I'm listening to Waylon right now.
That's what you get for loving me. I guess maybe these are the questions that come with the quality.
Hm, can I ignore the sadness I feel when I hear about lonely cowboys riding away from women whose hearts they have stolen? I see the mindset being played out in everyday life ... and it hurts my heart.
This is one of those times I wish I didn't think so much.
starry eyed
It was a challenging day ... the type that is good, because it demands the very best of me and results in much getting accomplished with my clients; but also the kind that finds me arriving home worn out and ready to fall into my bed.
As I walked the dogs tonight, feeling exhausted (especially emotionally), I happened to tip my head up toward the sky. I still don't understand how this works, but I immediately felt better. The sky is FULL of stars, and as I gazed at them I felt peace rain down over my mind and spirit. There is no logical explanation, and I hope I never stop having this type of reaction to beauty in nature.
Sometimes I wish I had more than two eyes, to take in all this wonder ... everywhere I go, I'm looking.
