the sincerity of love
I know it has been a while since I have posted. There is a lot going on in my life, some of which has been hard to face or accept. And of course, if I write about it (in my journal or on this blog), the truth develops a face … instead of it being some abstract idea floating around out there, there is a solidifying of what is going on. If I don’t write or talk about it, it doesn’t change what is happening, but at least there is no real proof or no real account of what is going on.I will not go into specifics, but let me just say that this is hard. One thing I notice, at least with this situation, is my tendency to push God away at the very time I should be drawing closer to Him. This morning as I was thinking about that, for some reason I was reminded of Romans 12, specifically verses 11 and 12:
Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
In verse 9, Paul says that love must be sincere. One of the ways this sincerity or authenticity is manifested is through that zeal and fervor mentioned in the later verses. If love is sincere, it doesn’t change faces just because something difficult is going on. It is consistent and steady and dependable, and that means that someone who is an authentic lover (of God and of others) is consistent in their zeal, fervor, joy, patience, and faithfulness. In these verses Paul draws a picture of someone who represents Christ, who is the perfect embodiment of Love. We see a picture of a person who remains hopeful, and does so with joy. This is a person who is patient, throughout any type of affliction, even if the suffering and trial are unimaginable. And, despite what is going on – whether there is mourning or dancing, this person is faithfully entering into conversations with God about all that is going on around him.
I have fallen so short of hitting the mark on any of these challenges lately. And, today as I reflected on these verses and on who I have been lately, I realized that I am not representing authenticity in my love. The trademark of a real Christian should be love, and love MUST be sincere. If it’s not sincere, it’s not really love. This leaves me to wonder about myself lately, for I haven’t been joyful in hope, I definitely haven’t been patient in affliction, and I cringe when I just type the words "faithful in prayer". But I think I’m on my way to getting back there, slowly. Is zeal something that grows and matures? I hope so, and if so I have hope for the amount of zeal and fervor I will have tomorrow.
Someone asked me how I’m doing today, and all I could say was "ok". Not good, not wonderful, but ok. But I know that today I am better than I was yesterday, and I absolutely plan to be better tomorrow than I am right now. So there is hope, and I find joy in that.
