thoughts from a rain-cleansed runner
I think that perhaps there is nothing I like more than running in the rain. Except for maybe the stretching and warm shower that come afterward - and even those don't compare to the wonderful rush I experience when pushing my body to its limits while the sky rains down refreshment upon me.I feel sad when I think about the way that so many people don't push the limits - physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. It seems to me that people who "play it safe" or don't ask the tough questions are really living a substandard life.
Lately the spiritual limits in my life have been pushed almost to a level of discomfort. I think a good part of it has to do with the extreme close-up view I'm getting of pain in its rawest form. The history of some of my clients reads like a psychological crime book. I'm not even sure that's what I mean, but sometimes I have to close a file and go outside for a few minutes before I can come back to it and finish reading. Where is God when these children are being robbed of their innocence and of their joy? Where is He when some awful creature is ripping these kids' childhood from them?
I know God is there, I just don't understand how He's there.
Something that I read recently is sticking with me right now.
"The very nature of orthodox Christian faith is that we never come to the end. It begs for more. More discussion, more inquiry, more debate, more questions."I guess, honestly, I don't want to pray to, serve, or worship a God that I can figure out. But it's also very difficult for me to do these things to a God who makes me freakin' mad. I have learned though, that I require challenges in my life in order to remain interested. If God was easy to grasp or explain, I don't think I would stick with Him for too long. It's almost like I need the frustration in order to have confirmation of the "feelings." And the frustration leads to personal growth, so I guess in the end it's ok. I'll just be running more, which can't be bad for anyone.
- Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis
One thing that distracts me from these difficult thoughts is being constantly on the look-out for snakes every time I step out of my house. I heard from a neighbor that there are baby copperheads lurking around my place ... and I don't really want to have one of those not-too-smart cute little snakey-wakeys inject all his venom into one of my leggie-weggies.
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