Friday, January 12, 2007

Freedom Live-rs

Last night I went to see the movie “Freedom Writers”. I left the theater with that “I need to be an English teacher and change the world” feeling again, and I was seriously thinking about going home and transferring to a Masters in Education program. But, after lots of thought, and even some tears, I realized that it (whatever “it” is) is not so much about teaching in and of itself, as it is about having a vision and then wholeheartedly changing that vision into a reality.

This has been something I have been doing for years, in one way or another, and I believe it has become a necessary life function for me. I breathe, I drink water and coffee, I exercise, I laugh, I cry, I sleep, I crave wide open places and clear skies, and I look around me and see things through these strange lenses that enable me to see through current reality and perceive the potential reality. Sometimes it’s a wonderful thing, sometimes it hurts so bad I wish I could just tear off those “what could be” viewing goggles.

Yesterday I bumped into someone that I hadn’t seen in a little while. She and I had never really been close friends, but she was one of those people with whom – from the very first conversation – I felt an immediate camaraderie. She lives out her heart, and she pours herself into others. While talking to this woman yesterday, I sensed discouragement because she had chased hard after a vision, only to find that those around her basically withdrew their support and allowed her to fall hard, after they pulled that vision away from her. Here is part of an email I sent her yesterday:

I have noticed that whenever I am really passionate about something, I often seem to find myself alone or with very few others. I think it's because people get uncomfortable or maybe feel insecure when they see someone who is good at what they do, or whose passion drives them to want to do more. The strength of our passion and conviction reminds others of the weakness or lack of their own. When we chase hard after what we believe in, we create a ripple – sometimes even a strong current – in the previously stagnant waters … and we stir up lots of muck that others KNOW is there, but about which they are unmotivated to do anything. People with colorful visions and big ideas are a threat to black and white worlds of small ideas.

I could have been writing those same words in reference to the scenario depicted in the movie last night. Where other “teachers” saw future gangsters and criminals, a lone visionary saw promising, talented students with untapped strength. Though she was faced with opposition and a staunch “don’t rock the boat” mentality from every angle, this woman chased hard after a vision she had for these young minds – a vision that was fully realized, and even today is being increasingly realized.

I looked around me in the theater last night and found myself getting angry to see people more interested in their popcorn and Milk Duds, than they were about being inspired and moved to act by the story of courage and passion flickering on the screen in front of them. It would be so much easier to write the movie off as “a movie for teachers”, or “the story of a radical”, than to realize that the moral of the story is about LIVING.

This process of visualize something in a “potential” form can be applied to just about anything. I open the cupboards and see flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, chocolate chips, and all kinds of other things … but I let my mind take over after my eyes stop processing, and I see cookies, cakes, brownies, pancakes, bread, and all kinds of other good things. I look at a skein of yarn and a crochet needle, and I see hats, scarves, gloves, blankets, rugs, and other things that I won’t be able to make for several more years. When I open up a blank notebook, I see a page beckoning me to spill out my thoughts, ideas, dreams, frustrations, joys, and visions. I see a guitar leaning against the wall and I can actually HEAR the music playing. The same with my piano … and the same, in a much larger way with the children with which I work. I meet a child who slouches in a chair and won’t even make eye contact, and I can see him as a distinguished, confident, young man who may very well go on to discover the cure for arthritis. I spend time with a slightly overweight young lady who constantly tugs at her ill-fitting clothes and laughs a little too long, and my mind sees her as a poised, well-dressed woman who will pursue the first woman Presidency.

There is a verse in the Bible (I'm not sure of the reference) that states, “Without a vision the people perish”. As long as I am alive, I intend to be full of visions, and caught up in the process of chasing after those visions, capturing them, and turning them into reality.

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