a warm bed is the best medicine
This morning I indulged.I woke up late, drank coffee, went for a run, came back and took a long shower ... then I pulled on some snuggly, warm, big, baggy sweats and crawled back into bed. Sipping the last of my coffee, I finally finished this book. I didn't want it to end. The book is a modern-day version of the story of Hosea and his wife Gomer. I can't explain the feelings that stirred inside of me as I read about Angel (the main character) returning home after having been gone from her husband for four years. As she approached him, she was so fearful that he wouldn't take her back ... and she didn't know what to do, what to give him, as a token of her love or of her regret ... so she gave him herself. It was beautiful and poignant and touching and powerful. And I cried and prayed and cried some more.
As I reflected on the story, I realized that I am dangerously similar to the main character who forsook her true love again and again. She left the one who truly loved her because she didn't know how to accept his love ... and yet he continued to love her, even when it seemed she did everything possible to convince him to do otherwise. She left him because she thought she could be happier somewhere else, or that she couldn't give him what he needed.
In the end, Angel realized that ultimately -- beyond the fading happiness -- she needed to find true and lasting JOY, which she was only able to find in Someone so much bigger than herself or her husband. That joy had nothing to do with the love of a person and everything to do with faith and the relentless and unshakeable love of a Father whose love would never change or fade or weaken.
It was a rough weekend, marked by too many things to do and not enough sleep ... but this morning more than made up for it. This morning, in the pages of a thick book and in the comfort of a bed warmed by sunshine and an electric blanket, I found joy. My happiness will ebb and flow with circumstances and situations -- I know this to be true. But nothing or no one is able to pry this joy from my grasp. This is a lasting, unflickering flame of peace and comfort and consolation ...
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