shut up and deal with it
Recently I got an email from a friend of mine that just sort of left me there staring at the computer screen in astonishment. He’s a nice friend, one of those probably “forever friends” with who, even if I don’t talk to him for months and months, I still feel that bond. We have never actually even met in person, and there’s a very good chance we never will, but there is a deep connection there. He is the friend of this post, who said this nice thing about ME: “With such a blend of a serious conscientiousness of character and soul with a carbonated lighthearted frivolity, what young man, disenchanted with the status quo, could resist you?"Anyway, he is going through some incredible things in his life right now. He and I seem to have a knack for going through big things at the same times … different “big things,” but still – big things. I’m not sure I should even try to interpret or paraphrase his wisdom, so I may just end up doing a whole lot of quoting. I am going to take some editorial liberties and cut out some names and details that you don’t need to know about, but I want to preserve his points.
Keep doing what you’re doing, no matter how logical and reasonable and biblical it sounds and no matter how it fails or succeeds … people like us need to be taught a lesson. We can't figure God out. We have to go by faith and waiting. Our beliefs about Jesus have a rational and historical basis, but He treats every believer different - and what He wants most from us is character development and faith development (even it if it comes at the expense of our understanding rationality.)
What do I mean at the expense of rationality? I mean, God gave you and I intelligence and a literary bent. We love to interpret and analyze and manipulate metaphor. He won’t be handled, though. And we will do well to just shut up and deal with it.
… you know what? I have tried to force God's hand before, and that's why I'm where I am right now. Because I never learn that sometimes He calls me to "stick it out". I wonder if I had "stuck it out", if things would be different. I wonder if He would have even chosen her for me, or if I would have chosen her for myself. But the truth is, I love her more every day and also am more irritated and confounded by her every day. Truth is, I don’t really have absolute control of my life and - even if I did, whatever steps I would rationally take would make it as imperfect as if I had just left it alone and waited for God.
What am I trying to say? There is no summary for it. I don’t know and am in the dark as much as ever! But I do know that He will get me from point A to point B. I don’t know how or if I will be happy or depressed about the means. But as little consolation as that offers for any given problem, conundrum or situation, that’s all I know anymore.
Am I at peace with this? No. I want orderliness and rationality. I want to predict God's steps and either manipulate them or get in line with them. It has never worked for me before, not as far as circumstances go. But honestly, I am going to try to get in line with interpreting AFTER THE FACT and not before. My philosophy of life now is to try my best at everything that is in front of me no matter if 99% of the things fail or are imperfect. IN that I think God is happy; that I push in faith regardless of what I see happen. How irrational this seems to me!
Maybe you don’t agree with what he said … but if you knew what this incredible man is going through, you would recognize the power behind his words and the ponderings of his heart. There is beauty in those words. I’m not even sure I totally agree with them, but I applaud his honesty and his sincerity and I hope he’s not upset with me for posting his email on my blog. He is right though – I catch myself very often trying to force God’s hand or “figure Him out”, and I really sometimes do need to just quiet down and watch as God reveals His plan. Anyway, those words seemed way too good not to share … they deserve to be read by others who can hopefully relate. And again, I hope he doesn’t mind that I posted his email on my blog. :)
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