at first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
I learned how to get along
Ok, admit it. At some point in your life, you have listened to that song. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It's the official "break-up song" or something like that. I don't buy it. Yesterday I spoke to a friend of mine who recently "broke up" (I hate relationshipese) with her boyfriend, and she was telling me that she had already listened to the song five times in a row (in the past couple hours), and she was starting to feel better, more empowered. That conversation was a good reminder to me of why I don't have too many female friends. I'm sure she wanted me to tell her that she WOULD survive, and that she would be fine, and that she was better without him. Well, I didn't say any of those things.
What I did say to her was that she needed to turn off the CD player and get outside in the sunshine. "I will survive". What does that mean? According to Webster the word survive means to "remain alive or in existence" or to "continue to function or prosper". To exist or function -- wow what a thing to strive for. "I will exist". "I will function". How can you get out of bed in the morning with that mindset? How can you go to bed at night with that thought in your head? Why not STOP existing at that point? Isn't there more to life?
This is what I told my friend, and this is what I believe: we are called to do more than just survive, exist, function, remain alive, or even prosper. We are called to THRIVE, to CELEBRATE, to RUN INTO THE CRASHING WAVES WITH ALL OF OUR CLOTHES ON (or off, actually, if you're brave and/or in really good shape), to DRIVE WITH THE WINDOWS DOWN, even though we may have just spent 30 minutes doing our hair. We are called to overcome and to conquer, to jump out of bed in the morning ready to attack the world.
Sure, I go through difficult times and I get knocked down, but even in those I AM surviving already ... if I weren't, I wouldn't be able to go through those things in the first place. After I realize that I'm on the ground, it is then my chance to jump up and run even harder and push even further. God does not call us to be "survivors" -- He wants us to be "livers". He wants us to embrace this moment in its entirety, to breathe each breath as deeply as we can, to catch every last ounce of orange and red in the sunset, to slurp that chocolate (or in my case -- peanut butter banana ... yum!) milkshake even when the cup is empty ... He has created us and given us life so that we can enjoy the wonderment of it all, not to just drag ourselves out of bed, "put on a happy face", and take it "one day at a time".
Maybe I'm wrong, but I have this idea that the very reason for our being is to give God glory. How could He possibly be glorified (or even pleased) by us eking it through another day, barely making it through? What an insult that would be to the One who created us in HIS image.
What I long for for my friend, for myself, and for each of you reading this is MORE ... more than what we're told we should want, more than what we convince ourselve we should have ... I want what God says we should have -- life more abundant (or as Webster says: "marked by great plenty").
I conveniently neglected to mention to my friend that I do still own that CD myself. But I really can't tell you the last time I listened to it, or even thought about wanting to. I don't want to survive, I want to flourish ... thrive ... aspire ... LIVE.
2 Comments:
Very insightful. We should be reminded of that often. Mediocrity is a cancer, and it works doubly hard on Christians. Moreover; that mentality is taking steps back. Yes, we must survive, but thats not in our hands. "Consider the lillies..." . We must thrive as Christians. To me, mere survival as a mindset is the same as death.
Well put, it is very true that we aim for a C grade when the A is out there. Average, OK, or "whatever," are all pretty tempting when the only alternative seems to be insignifigance or terminal loneliness.
The only thing I would caution against is the notion that breaking up should be no big deal. If we choose to have the same attitude toward the Relationship that you encourage towards peanut butter bananas [thanks Gwen for the spelling lesson...] or the windows down - that of being "all in;" it should hurt a lot when the relationship ends. I guess what I mean is: we shouldn't be half-hearted after OR during a relationship. When we choose to fly high; like Icarus, we should accept the possibility of a rough landing.
I am not in a relationship (and haven't been for some time), so I am not speaking from a position of current infatuation - I am just repeating what I tell myself, that is: don't take the drugs of apathy or subsistance to avoid pain - neither take them to avoid the passion that can lead to pain.
Your friend has a good friend in you. :) I hope she sits shotgun with her hair blowing; even if you have to do the driving for a while!
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