in the fury of the moment

meep meep

I recognized today that the horn on my car sounds exactly like the noise the Roadrunner (cartoon, not real life animal) makes. EXACTLY. To my embarassment, the way I discovered this was that I gave a friendly return honk to a large 18-wheeler who had just moved to let me down the road out of the Ranch where I live. He put me in my place alright. I was zipping down the road in my little meep meep car (it sounds like I'm trying to swear there) and came to a large backhoe and an even larger truck, parked across the road and blocking my way out. My morning commute is always perfectly timed, so of course my automatic response was one of annoyance. But then I saw the truck driver's face, and his smile, and his wave ... and I felt like a big jerk. He unhitched the trailer and pulled his truck up out of my way. I skillfully maneuvered between the backhoe and the trailer and made my way out, waving my hand out the window in thanks as I buzzed away. He sounded a manly, airhorn kind of honk to say "no problem, lady" and I smiled and tooted my little horn, then tried to drive away even faster after I heard how wimpy it sounded. I'm just glad I'm not a man, I don't think I could go on driving this vehicle, armed with the knowledge of what the horn sounds like.

I have decided that I need a truck. Either a nice old Jeep Wagoneer or one of the older, square Toyota Land Cruisers. But not yet. First I have other things to take care of.

So you may have wondered where I came from all of a sudden. I disappeared for months, and all of a sudden I'm back confessing how sad the horn on my car is. The truth is, I allowed myself to get submerged in the crashing waves of life. I was unbelievably busy for about four straight months, and I can't even tell you now what I actually accomplished during that time. I recognize that I was successful in getting worn out, in letting my interests and the quality of "me" suffer, in allowing my exhaustion to affect many areas of my life ... but I don't recognize the good that came from this time.

Lucky for me, God is faithful. He saw me tumbling around under those waves, and He stilled the water, just at the point when I was running out of air and feeling like the current was overtaking me. He has a knack for doing that, of letting us get to the place where we think it's too much ... and then showing us that we have no idea what "too much" is. He took mercy on me though, and He does it again every morning and every night. Thanks to Him for the indescribable gifts He bestows upon us, moment by moment.

There is more to tell ... I have a new job, and soon I will have a new place to live. But the theme of my life remains the same. God is AWESOME, and I am pathetic. Through His strength though, I am moving closer and closer to a little piece of that awesomeness.

I just read through this and realized it's an incredibly disjointed post. I may have lost the blogging knack. But I will get it back, and I will be around more often (probably).

posted by Krista @ 8:43 AM