lost in wonder
Life has been sort of knocking the breath out of me lately, in a good way.I am astounded by the power of the human spirit, wooed by the ever-increasing beauty of trees and sunsets, and struck with awe at the fact that I am the one who gets the play the part of me in this wonderfully designed plot of a life.
I do not take these things for granted:
- that I enjoy getting lost. In the woods, in the mountains, wading through a stream ... I like the feeling of not knowing where I am, and not really caring.
- that my drive into "work" reminds me of roads I have driven through national parks. I smile often (which causes much curiosity among drivers around me, when I actually see any) and continuously lean forward to look up through the windshield at the clouds and the canopy of trees under which I'm passing, and sometimes I have to pull over so that I can be sure that the view of the mountains is real.
- that I somehow am blessed/fortunate/talented/lucky enough to have a job that I love. I shared with someone yesterday that I almost feel guilty to get paid for what I do. Hours fly by like seconds when I'm with clients, and sometimes I surprise myself with the things that come out of my mouth. I know what I'm doing, and I'm good at it. It's an amazing feeling that I don't know how I got by without earlier in my life.
- that the crazy twists and turns of my life are really starting to make sense, because I am using experiences and lessons learned to help other people. It is more the rule than the exception that I have conversations with clients and parents that consist of me sharing experiences from my own life. Stupid choices and recklessly chosen paths have educated me and helped me to develop a strength which is a tremendous asset in interacting with other people, and even more - in helping others.
- that the growth that has happened with me in the past two years is more than many people experience in a lifetime. There are lots of different factors that play into this truth, and a few incredible people without whom it wouldn't have happened. The remarkable changes and improvements cause me to expect great things for the next year or two.
- that I enjoy teaching others. I attended a training today where the subject was family systems and family dynamics, and I think I stole the instructor's thunder ... several times. At the end of the session, I was actually approached about becoming a trainer. It's a state mandated class for people who work in the mental health field, and I would be able to interact with the curriculum and make improvements as I see need for them. I'm going to do it.
- that any bad choice can be manipulated to produce positive results. Mistakes really can be transformed into opportunities of growth and learning, and somehow I am involved in initiating that process in the lives of seven children and their families. One of the things I like most about my job is the fact that I empower people to make positive changes in their lives. I am the small pebble that is thrown into the water of their lives and creates a ripple ... and then I help them keep the ripple spreading into every area of their lives. Again, I'm a little bit in wonder at how I got here.
- that there is power in words. The biggest challenge for me in this job has been to get down the lingo. We have to write up our service notes in a certain way in order to get money for the services we provide. I hated it at first, but I'm getting good at it because I can now see the deeper meaning behind the code words that we are required to use. My favorite word to use is "facilitate." The word is used a bunch in office settings, so I have thrown it around here and there in the past in an effort to sound like a grown-up. But it wasn't until I started this job that I completely grasped the word's meaning. The definition: to make easier, to help bring about. That is what I do with these families. I make it easier for them to make improvements and changes, and I help bring about the appearance of hope into their lives.
There really aren't words to convey all that's going on inside me and around me ... my eyes are wide with wonder, and my spirit is breathless with anticipation.
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