feedback
This is a new thing for me. I've never done this whole blog thing before. I've always been a writer, and I've always enjoyed writing my thoughts out so that I can look back at them later and wonder what could possibly have been going on in my head ... but I rarely share those thoughts with other people. That would make me ... vulnerable ... and unmysterious (as if I'm mysterious in the first place).Anyway, just thought I'd write a short bit about something that happened today. I went for a walk during lunchtime. I work downtown, and it's not unusual to bump into the occasional person asking for money. Well, I had been walking along, nice and absorbed in my life and all the "important" details of it, and I hear a gruff, "excuse me, miss -- can you spare some change?" I turned and saw a fella who looked a bit familiar. And then I realized, it was the same man I had seen the night before when I was stopping in to my new favorite local coffee place. We repeated the previous night's conversation, in which I told him I didn't really want to give him money, but I would be happy to buy him a meal. To my surprise, Ronald (I found out his name) accepted. (Last night, he got upset and insisted that he didn't need food -- he needed money to get his OWN dinner and catch the bus home). Anyway, we chatted for a bit and he apologized for his behavior the night before. I apologized for mine as well ... of course, he was unaware of the thoughts I had as I pulled away in my clean dry car, and left him to stand on the damp, dirty sidewalk -- basically something self-righteous to the effect of "What an ungrateful person! Here I am, offering to help him, and he is insisting on his own way!"
A good real-life illustration of this quote I just read: "What we do can speak so loudly that what we say can't be heard." (Tom Keller) There was some major feedback happening from what I was saying ("Here you go -- God bless you.") to what my actions were saying ("I'll help you, but let's make it quick and easy, alright, buddy?") Isn't it great to get second chances after we act so much like our true selves that we're ashamed? :)
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